In the past couple of days, I’ve noticed a couple of posts making the rounds of the interwebs on the topic of payment for presenters at kink/leather/BDSM events. As a long-time sex and kink educator I have a lot of thoughts on this topic, and figured here would be a good place to share them. [...]
Archive for the ‘BDSM’ Category
of fame and money: on paying bdsm presenters
May 9, 2012
(don’t) assume the position
May 2, 2012
I stumbled across a blog post from a het male dom the other day, about the eight slave positions that he thinks “most dominants” train their submissives to do and have them do regularly. Of course what he really meant was “the het male dominants who think exactly like I do, and their gender-normative female submissives.” [...]
trust me
April 24, 2012
Of course you can trust me. I’m a skilled top. I mean, you saw me swinging a whip around some and it looked good, didn’t it? You can surely tell I’ve been practicing for a long time, and that I was taught by the best. Safety protocols? Yeah, of course I follow those. Sorry, just [...]
on ecstasy
March 12, 2012
Not too long ago, I wrote an instalment of my “Ask the Sex Geek” column for In Toronto magazine in response to a reader question about trying to find resources on spiritual approaches to sexuality, such as Tantra, that don’t rely on a classic gender binary. Such resources are remarkably hard to find, and as [...]
why rape jokes aren’t funny, even if you’re kinky
January 2, 2012
You’d think that given that kinky people are universally more enlightened about sexuality than the general population, nobody would have to explain this one. But from recent discussions I’ve seen go by online, it appears that we can throw that little “superior enlightenment” theory out the window (no big surprise there), and that a post [...]
