Workshops

For those who are interested in the workshops and other talks I give, here’s the list of what’s coming up.

Feel free to check out the full Workshop Descriptions section a bit further down for the details, or if you want to see the list of things I teach in general. I’ve given over 70 workshops in the last few years and I’m always interested in developing new ones and in finding new places to teach, so if you have something in mind, don’t be shy to ask! Just leave a comment here and I’ll get back to you, or drop me a line at veryqueer3 at yahoo dot ca. I teach for a range of audiences, from experienced sex radicals to curious novices to people who are not part of these communities at all, but would really like to better understand us and our needs. I especially enjoy doing training sessions for health care providers and other service providers who wish to better serve their queer, kinky or non-monogamous clientele.

If you’d like to see a selection of the workshops and speaking engagements I’ve done in the past few years, scroll all the way down to the bottom.

Upcoming Workshops and Speaking Engagements

May (Montreal)

• BDSM and Sexual Assault, an awareness session for volunteers as part of the SACOMSS (Sexual Assault Centre of the McGill Student Society) Crisis Intervention team training. Tuesday, May 13, 6:15-7:15 p.m. Info about volunteering can be obtained here.

May (Ottawa)

• Take Five: The Pleasures of Fisting. Wednesday, May 21, 7:30 p.m. at Venus Envy. Registration info here.
• 10 Rules for Happy Non-Monogamy. Thursday, May 22, 7:30 p.m. at Venus Envy. Registration info here.

May (Montreal)

• BDSM 101, a training session for Gay Line volunteers. Saturday, May 24, 1:30-3 p.m. Get information about volunteering for Gay Line here.
• Take Five: The Pleasures of Fisting. Saturday, May 24, 4-6 p.m. for the Unholy Army of the Night. Women and trans people can join the Unholy Army by sending an e-mail to info at unholyarmy dot com, and RSVP to the workshop organizer.

June (Toronto)

• Bisexuality: What It Is, What It Isn’t, What It Might Be! Wednesday, June 4, 7:30 p.m. at Good For Her. Registration info here.

August (Shelburne, ON)

• Topic TBC. Saturday, August 30, time TBC. I’ll be this year’s Special Guest at PolyCamp Ontario 2008. Get more info and register here.

September (Toronto)

• Hole Lotta Lovin’: An Anal Play Workshop. Saturday, September 27, 7:30-9 p.m., at Come As You Are. Register here.
• Body Language: Creating Erotic Scenes. Sunday, September 28, 5:30-8 p.m., at Come As You Are. Register here.

Workshop Descriptions

The following is a general sampling of the sorts of workshops I teach. I have a wide range of skills and am frequently asked to tailor presentations for specific purposes depending on the presenting organization and target audience—college classes, BDSM conferences, sex toy stores, community groups, professional service providers and more. My style is friendly and interactive, with clearly conveyed information and lots of room for questions from participants.

Bisexuality: What It Is, What It Isn’t, What It Might Be!

This is an interactive workshop for bisexuals, people curious about bisexuality (their own or others’), and people who aren’t sure how they feel about the whole bisexual thing. What is a bisexual? How do bisexuals manage their relationships? How does the world respond to bisexuals? What kind of concerns might a bi person need to deal with, and what kind of joys can bisexuality bring with it? How can you be supportive of a friend or lover who might be bisexual? What about people who call themselves “queer,” “omnisexual” and “pansexual”? We’ll talk about all of this and more in an atmosphere of respect and openness.

10 Rules for Happy Non-Monogamy

So you’d like to be romantically involved with more than one person at once? Or maybe you’d just like to sleep with someone other than your one-and-only? Whether you’re considering your first steps into non-monogamy or you’re an old hand looking for a fresh perspective, you’ll find valuable tidbits in this common-sense approach to enjoying love and sex in the plural. This is an interactive workshop with lots of room for beginners and experienced poly folk alike to share their questions and experiences.

Take Five: The Pleasures of Fisting

It may seem extreme, but fisting - inserting an entire hand into a welcoming vagina - is in fact one of the most intimate and sensual kinds of penetration two people can enjoy. This workshop covers anatomy, techniques and safety tips, with a focus on maximizing pleasure for all concerned, givers and receivers alike. Anyone who loves vaginas is welcome to come, whether they have one of their own or not.

Stepping into the BDSM Scene (BDSM 101)

BDSM often starts in the world of fantasy… but how do you make it into a reality? This workshop will explore both the private and public facets of BDSM.

BDSM in the bedroom: We’ll talk about ways to create hot and safe kinky experiences in the bedroom, go over basic communication skills and explore ways to build a sexy scene. Then comes the fun part: learning about the psychological and the physical sensations you can play with! We’ll touch on sensory deprivation, restriction (i.e. bondage), scratching, tickling, clamping, temperature play and impact play, and brief demonstrations will be given of a number of techniques.

BDSM at the bar: We’ll discuss how to find your way in the existing BDSM community, and talk about the terms, ideas and practices you might encounter in the BDSM scene. What’s it like to attend (or run) a BDSM event or play party? How do you find a play partner? What does the BDSM scene look like and how can you move through it with grace and confidence?

Kink can become a huge part of your life or an occasional escapade… come and learn how to take the first step!

Flogging With Flair

Floggers look really sexy, but how do you use those things, anyway? Whether you’re turned on by dominance and submission or you simply think you’d like the feeling of administering or receiving a solid sensual beating, flogging might be for you. In this workshop, we’ll take a hands-on approach for beginners: why you might like to flog or be flogged, how to aim a flogger (and all the delicious places to aim at), the many ways to use a flogger, and best of all, what it feels like! We’ll also cover ways to pick a flogger you’ll like, how to care for and store a flogger, and a few interesting tricks and tips help you find your personal style. Bring your own flogger if you have one.

Body Language: Creating Erotic Scenes

It’s all in the wrist… and hands, and hips, and feet! The most accessible, easiest to use, and least expensive SM toy you’ll ever play with is your own body. Come and discover ways to use your hands, arms, legs, torso, feet, mouth and other body parts to create sensual SM scenes that can range from gentle to challenging. We’ll cover slapping, tickling, scratching, weight exchange, biting and more! We’ll also look at ways to better tune into your partner during your scenes. This is an interactive workshop; you’ll be encouraged to ask questions, share your experiences and contribute your ideas.

The Ultimate Thud

What could be more visceral, intimate, thrilling, and hard-hitting than fists meeting flesh? Come and find out how to put some punch into your playing! In this workshop, you’ll learn how to create a scene using punching, slapping, kneeing and kicking techniques. We’ll be covering safety concerns and anatomy, positions and equipment, hitting styles, pacing, warm-up and cool-down, psychological approaches, creative ideas, and more. This workshop is hands-on and interactive. Some knowledge of SM will be helpful but beginners are welcome as well.

Hands-On Play (Body Language and The Ultimate Thud combined)

It’s all in the wrist… and hands, and hips, and feet! The most accessible, easiest to use, and least expensive SM toy you’ll ever play with is your own body. Come and discover ways to use your hands, arms, legs, torso, feet, mouth and other body parts to create sensual SM scenes that can range from gentle to challenging. For starters, we’ll talk about how to tune in and ground with your partner during a scene. Then we’ll cover slapping, tickling, scratching, weight exchange, biting and more. And last but not least, find out how to put some punch into your playing… with techniques for punching, kneeing and kicking! This is an interactive hands-on workshop; you’ll be encouraged to ask questions, share your experiences and contribute your ideas.

Getting Your Girl (and What to Do with Her Once You’ve Got Her): A Workshop for Women

Ladies, has the idea of playing with women always intrigued you? Are you raring to go, but can’t find the starting line? Don’t worry. Every successful Sapphic seductress started out wet… behind the ears. Whether you’re cruising for sex, SM play or a little of everything, you’ll find a ton of tips and tricks in this informative workshop led by an experienced lover of the ladies. Find out where to go, how to flirt, and what girls really do in bed together. Come prepared with your questions and concerns – this will be an interactive workshop with plenty of time for discussion.

Hole Lotta Lovin’: An Anal Play Workshop

From the gentlest touch to the deepest penetration, buttholes enjoy it all. But you have to seduce them before they’ll let you in… Come and learn how! We’ll start with the basics of anal play and then slowly, with lots of lube, we’ll work up to fun things you can do with fingers, mouths, toys and more! Along the way we’ll talk about the psychological aspects of anal play as well as covering anatomy, techniques and safety tips, with a focus on maximizing pleasure for all concerned, givers and receivers alike. All genders welcome… after all, everyone’s got an asshole.

Additional workshop topics (descriptions upon request)

• Putting Sex into Words: Erotic Writing
• Plural Play: Multiple-Partner BDSM Scene Dynamics
• Look, No Hands! Strap-On Sex
• Making an Impact: Percussive Play Sampler
• Polyamory 201: Advanced Topics in Non-Monogamy
• Cunnilingus
• Queer Sex for Straight Folks
• Power Play: Dominance and Submission in Bed and in Relationship
• Active Listening - a workshop with an emphasis on working with a queer or otherwise marginalized clientele (appropriate for peer counsellors, hotline listeners, etc.)
• …

Past Workshops and Speaking Engagements

Here’s a sampling of the fun stuff I’ve had the pleasure of teaching over the past few years. Feel free to contact me at veryqueer3 at yahoo dot ca if you’d like a full CV or to ask about tailoring a presentation to your needs.

• “Lighting the Fire: BDSM and Abuse,” a co-presentation with Ariel of The Network/La Red, a Boston-based domestic violence prevention organization, at International Ms. Leather (San Francisco, May 2008).
• “(Un)Common Ground: Intersections of Poly, Kinky and Queer,” a co-presentation with Pepper Mint, given (solo) at the inaugural University of Toronto Sexual Diversity Studies Student Union conference “Fetish: Working Out the Kinks” (Toronto, March 2008), and (with Pepper) at the 12th Leather Leadership Conference and at the Center for Sex and Culture (both in San Francisco, April 2008).
• “Take Five: the Pleasures of Fisting” at Good For Her (Toronto, March 2008).
• BDSM and Non-Monogamy awareness workshops for mental health practitioners and general healthcare staff at the Sherbourne Health Centre (Toronto, February 2008).
• “Pleasures and Politics: Women of Leather,” a seminar on leatherdyke community and organizing BDSM events for women and trans people, with Jacqueline St-Urbain at Mr. Leatherman Toronto (Toronto, November 2007).
• Panel speaker at McGill University’s “Pride and Prejudice” panel on queerness and discrimination (Montreal, October 2007).
• “Active Listening for Peer Counsellors” 6-hour training at Concordia University’s 2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy (Montreal, October 2005, 2006 and 2007).
• “Getting Your Girl… And What to Do With Her Once You’ve Got Her” workshop at Censored Festival (Montreal, August 2007).
• “Hands-On Play” SM technique workshop at Breathless (Ottawa, June 2007).
• “Love and Sex in the Plural” polyamory workshop at Venus Envy (Ottawa, June 2007) and at Come As You Are (Toronto, September 2007).
• Guest lecturer on Sexual Diversity for the women’s studies class “Alternatives for Women” run by Arlene Steiger, CEGEP Vanier College (Montreal, April 2007).
• Panel speaker on women’s involvement in GLBT community organizations – recruitment, retention, motivation – for the Colloque sur la visibilité lesbienne (Montreal, March 2007).
• Presentations and Q&As - “BDSM and Fetish Sexuality” and “Bisexuality and Queer Gender” - for professionals at SAR weekend (Sexuality Attitudes Reassessment), facilitated by Stephanie Mitelman of www.sexpressions.ca through Concordia University (Montreal, BDSM in September 2005, Bisexuality in September 2006 and November 2007).
• “Bisexuality and BDSM” workshop, co-presented with Pepper Mint at the 9th International Conference on Bisexualit (Toronto, June 2006).
• Member of the international “Ask Aunts Poly and the Amory Uncles” polyamory panel at the 9th International Conference on Bisexuality (Toronto, June 2006).
• “Body Play 101 and 201” workshops at the TO Kink conference (Toronto, April 2006).
• Bisexuality contributor for the Women and Sexual Diversity panel, CEGEP Vanier College (Montreal, March 2006 and March 2007).
• “Active Listening for LGBT Students” workshop for faculty and staff at CEGEP Vanier College (Montreal, November 2005, March 2006, November 2006).
• “Bisexuality: What It Is, What It Isn’t, What It Might Be!” workshop and discussion at Venus Envy (Ottawa, October 2005, April 2006, January 2007).
• Contributing facilitator for 30-hour training session for new Gay Line volunteers, as well as “Bisexuality 101” and “BDSM 101″ sessions (Montreal, annually or bi-annually from 2001-2008).
• “SM 101” workshop for TV show “Une Chance qu’on s’aime,” filmed August 2004 in Montreal and aired September 2004 on Canal Vie.
• “Beyond Oppression: New Strategies, Values and Visions for a Dynamic Queer Society” – workshop on intersectionality within queer organizations, with Benji Pereira, EGALE Rainbow Visions Conference (Montreal, May 2003).