the sex geek’s to-do list

1. Apologize to those who feel I’ve dropped off the face of the planet for the past couple of weeks. The recent film symposium, festival and leather weekend were reason enough, but add the ongoing Toronto apartment search (grumble landlords grumble vacancy rates grrrr stupid classifieds argghh) and a crushing workload (any translators out there? 10,000 words in 48 hours. Nuff said.) and there are my excuses.

2. Write about the image+nation queer film symposium and all the wicked cool thought processes it inspired. Queer geek heaven, I tell you!

3. Write about the films of the festival itself.

4. Write about the absolutely awesome experience of giving a seminar with Jacqueline St-Urbain at Mr. Leatherman Toronto this past weekend, not to mention all the other cool seminars I got to attend (anal fisting! cock and ball torture! oh my!) and the actual leather contest itself. So. Much. Fun.

5. Post some personal reflections about submission, service and the joys of bois – especially gorgeous articulate sexy service-oriented bois who carry my bags and clean my boots and just generally make themselves indispensable, and who are wonderfully kind to one another, too. Three of them. Three! Geebus. What lottery did I win? (Never mind that they’re threatening to unionize…)

6. Indulge in some happy blathering about new leather pants and musings on the concept of earning leather.

7. Finish reading Terry Gould’s book The Lifestyle: The Erotic Rites of Swingers, if I can stomach it, and write about that too. There is much to say…

8. Write about the butch books I’ve recently read, after doing some research to get a sense of the public’s response to at least one of them.

9. Write about the upcoming closure of Boutique Mad-Âme, the world’s first lesbian/queer/trans clothing store, and reflect on what that means about dyke fashion, dyke small businesses and more. 

10. Put in a plug for my friend Bear, who’s giving some thoroughly intriguing workshops in San Francisco this weekend. Hey! That I can do right now. Please see below. Anyone from SF reading, please feel free to pass ’em on!

And last but not least,

11. Put in a plug for my own upcoming workshops in my soon-to-be home city of Toronto. Assuming, of course, the whole apartment situation eventually works out. As in, we find one. Gah. I’ll post the details when I have ’em… about the workshops of course, not the apartment. Or lack thereof. Okay! Done!

Now, wish me luck on getting things checked off this list. You will doubtless be the first to know about them!


(Okay, so Bear didn’t bother including a bio in hir mail-out, so I’ll just refer you to hir website and tell you that ze is a fantastic and wonderfully articulate creature full of good ideas and good energy, who has recently published one of the aforementioned butch books I’ve read, this one entitled Butch Is a Noun.)

All workshops take place at the Center For Sex And Culture (sexandculture. org, 415.255.1155) in their new space at 1519 Mission. Please feel free to forward to repost as appropriate. Pls. note, all classes are pay-what-you- can.

Saturday, 1 Dec, 4pm-6pm
A Re-Introduction To The Only-Mostly- Dead Art Of Chivalry
(Now! With 200% More Feminism!)

Everyone’s heard the stories: men who get kneed in the balls for holding open a door, youngsters who sprawl on bus seats while elders stand, the myth of the handkerchief- carrying gentleman, and all the rest. What, exactly, do girls women people want in the world of chivalry? How can a modern gentleperson be courteous without being sexist or a suckup? And while we’re at it – who goes through the door first, again? Talk a little about the principles, and then learn a lot about the mechanics of walking in public (v. walking in private, natch), and a whole lot more.

Sunday, 2 Dec, 2pm-4pm
Writing With and About Gender

A 2hr. workshop designed to get writers thinking about the language of gender, its vernacular and lexicon and ways of making itself heard in writing, and then figuring out personal, useful ways to turn that to their advantage. This workshop is appropriate for any one who can form a sentence, regardless of hir experience as a writer: from novelists
writing transgendered characters to transfolk writing about their experiences to academics tackling queer theory to people still exploring the nature of their gender and sexuality in private writing to absolutely anyone else. Feedback opportunities will be provided but not required.

Sunday, 2 Dec, 7pm-10pm
Theater Skills For Better Sex

People with improvisational theater training know three things you don’t about how to make a scene out of nothing, and/or keep one going if it gets away from you. Excellent for eager newbies and jaded ancients, the straightest of couples and the queerest alike will learn how to seamlessly become new characters, take old standbys in new directions, and incorporate new ideas, handy props, and changes of scene on the fly without missing a beat. Inventive, snappy, and lots of fun – even if you’ve never stepped on a stage in your life!

7 thoughts on “the sex geek’s to-do list

  1. Thanks, hon. We really must stop relegating our time together to five-minute conversations at very loud dance parties. Seeing you again soon would be lovely!


  2. I am most curious about your thoughts on The Lifestyle book. I read it ages ago. (new pseudonym, btw – you should recognize the email)

  3. I’m at page 175 of 375 (ish) and I’m finding it to be repetitive, unenlightening and overly pop-journalism in tone so far. Not to mention the nearly pathological insistence on swingers’ “normalcy” which is to be found in nearly every second sentence. Really it’s driving me a bit nuts, so while it’s in theory a quick read (no deep theory here), I’m finding it to be a slog. I get the feeling the post on the topic will be more like a rant from hell. Which I suppose could be fun, all things considered…

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