the challenge of entitlement (or, entitlement 201)

I think for me the most difficult challenge I faced in my journey of accepting and learning to enjoy my dominance has been that of entitlement. I’ve seen, and been on the receiving end of, horrendously entitled behaviour on the part of men for my whole life – entitlement to comment on women’s bodies and … More the challenge of entitlement (or, entitlement 201)

the ethics of sadism

I went to a Perverts Put Out erotica reading at the Center for Sex and Culture on Saturday night, and it was excellent. What a great line-up of readers. Highlights included Lori Selke’s piece “Cocksucking” in which the female protagonist’s boyfriend gets really into the idea of sucking cock (hers and others’), and Greta Christina, editor of Paying For It, … More the ethics of sadism

the adventures continue… in san fran and back home

First things first: shameless self-promotion! I am very excited to announce that Pepper Mint and I will be co-presenting our kinky/queer/poly talk for the second time in two weeks, this time at the Center for Sex and Culture (Carol Queen’s fantastic academic/community resource centre). And this time, we have a nice big time slot to fill. Yum! … More the adventures continue… in san fran and back home

calling it: non-consent and the insecure dominant

The international BDSM list of which I am a member has been sustaining a number of discussions about the concept of domestic discipline, consent and related topics. This inspired my last post, on domestic discipline, but the ongoing discussion has inspired a few more thoughts, this time with regard to non-consensual bad behaviour on the … More calling it: non-consent and the insecure dominant