some thoughts on dialogue that often isn’t*

*When I originally posted the piece “taking a trip down memory lane with anti-sm feminism,” which I re-posted here last week, a reader left the following comment: “Hmm, I’ve gotta take issue with your take on Farley’s censorship argument. Her point (so far as I can tell) isn’t that anti-SM sentiments are being literally censored, … More some thoughts on dialogue that often isn’t*

kink in three studies

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I began a project to review every essay contained in a most intriguing book entitled Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures, a collection of academic articles about SM edited by Peggy Kleinplatz and Charles Moser. I posted reviews of the first five articles (links here for the curious: … More kink in three studies

taking a trip down memory lane with anti-SM feminism*

*I originally posted this on January 11, 2007. I followed it up with a second post, which I will re-post here next week as a continuation of the theme. Oh, but before you read it, check out Inverted Eye, a new online boutique that is… well, I almost don’t want to spoil the surprise.  Suffice … More taking a trip down memory lane with anti-SM feminism*

expectations of dominance: picking through the tangle

Lately, I’ve come across a number of instances that have made it really clear to me that people in the BDSM/leather world have a wide range of completely disparate ideas about what a dominant should or shouldn’t be. For all that dominant kinksters are, well, dominant, that doesn’t mean we’re any less affected by other … More expectations of dominance: picking through the tangle

’tis the season: notes from the sex grinch*

*I originally posted this on December 19, 2006. Apparently I’m still a grinch today! (A note for 2008: Read Barry Webster’s erotic short story “Jingle Balls” in the anthology Lust for Life: Tales of Sex and Love, edited by Claude Lalumière and Elise Moser, if you want a genuinely disturbing take on a Santa Claus … More ’tis the season: notes from the sex grinch*

on being a gentleman, or, three official guidelines for kinky etiquette

Gentleman * n. (pl. – men) 1 a courteous or honourable man. (Concise Oxford Dictionary, Tenth Edition) Gentleman c (1): a man who combines gentle birth or rank with chivalrous qualities (2) a man whose conduct conforms to a high standard of propriety or correct behavior (Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition) The other day, I … More on being a gentleman, or, three official guidelines for kinky etiquette

an incomplete timeline of sexual diversity – part 3*

*After taking a break from this little series for a couple of weeks, here’s part three, in which AIDS hits us, the sex wars begin, bi folks start making noise, and intersex people show up on the map. Yes indeed… the 80s were a very full decade. It’s the last instalment in the ever-incomplete timeline, … More an incomplete timeline of sexual diversity – part 3*