a few questions for you

… do with them what you will.

***

What’s the item of clothing in your wardrobe that makes you feel sexiest?

What’s the most sensual activity you take part in that does not involve human contact or sexual pleasure?

What three people have had the greatest influence over your sexuality? (Whether you’ve ever had sex with them, or even met them, is not the point.)

What sexual activity could you happily swear off for the rest of your life?

When does your libido tend to peak?

What are you ashamed of?

What do you regret not doing, sexually? (As in, what situation would you go back to and re-do if you could?)

What are your hard limits when it comes to sex? From there, what’s the closest thing to a hard limit that you’ve got where there’s still a teensy bit of wiggle room?

What would your perfect sexual partner be like?

What book has most influenced the way you feel about sex?

What film scene (that did not appear in a porn film) has aroused you most?

If you were to write up a sex CV, what would your three most recent jobs be?

What would you love to do, sexually, that you never expect you will actually experience? Why? And why not?

If you were entitled to someone’s service for one full week, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and all that person wanted to do was please you in any way you wished, what would you have them do, sexually or otherwise?

What kind of music do you find the most likely to get you in the mood?

What do you want to learn, sexually, that you haven’t had the chance to learn yet?

In a sexual situation, what act(s) would someone have to do in order to make you say “no” and immediately leave the room?

List three things that would feel nice on your feet.

What stereotypes, if any, are actually true about you?

Where do you go when you want to feel safe?

What five activities are reliable sources of pleasure for you, sexual or otherwise?

 

Posted in sex

9 thoughts on “a few questions for you

  1. Most sensual activity – eating

    I could happily swear off eating pussy for the rest of my life.

    My libido peaks the few days before a full moon but is pretty high all the time.

    Hard limits: non-consent, beastiality, incest, scat, necophilia, minors.

    Arousing film scenes: hard to pick one but some vampire flicks will do it, biting scenes.

    Sexual CV: Mistress, submissive, lover.

    I’d love to be the woman in the middle of a gang bang but suspect it’ll never happen, I think I’m too afraid, too inhibited for it, I hope to work on that though and to do it before I’m too old to get enough men interested in it!

    I can’t think of any sexual stereotypes that are true about me.

    I am alone and at home when I want to feel safe, I’m single.

    Hmmm…. reliable sources of pleasure….
    1. Any sexual or otherwise interaction with my lover, just thinking about him makes me horny.
    2. Masturbation, of course.
    3. A mouth on my clit that knows what it’s doing and fingers in my pussy until I cum, heaven.
    4. Waking up naturally without any alarm in the morning having slept well and not having to rush out of bed, enjoying the warmth, love that.
    5. Really good food will give me pleasure every time.

    I might come back another time to answer the others, curious to know why you’re asking these specific questions?

  2. What’s the item of clothing in your wardrobe that makes you feel sexiest?

    Depending on whether you count shoes as clothing, either my dark red high heels or my purple rubber skirt.

    What’s the most sensual activity you take part in that does not involve human contact or sexual pleasure?

    It’s taken a bit of thinking, but I’d say the most sensual activity is one I haven’t done in a while, which is go swimming in the sea at night time. It’s dangerous, which is one of the reasons I haven’t done it in a long while, but when I did do it I remember it as being exquisitely sensual, in a non-sexual way. Everything from the smell of the salt in the water to the sound of the ripples and the small waves shushing onto the shore, and the sensation of my wet clothes clutching at me and the intense cold of the Irish sea enveloping me and holding me up, all surrounded by deep darkness.

    What three people have had the greatest influence over your sexuality? (Whether you’ve ever had sex with them, or even met them, is not the point.)

    In chronological order…

    A girl I knew at college, whose attitude to sex and sexuality helped me completely re-evaluate mine. She helped me own my own sexuality and take control over my sexual experiences.

    The man who first properly introduced me to kink – a fuck buddy, who once asked if I felt like trying something different for once, and proceeded to blindfold me, cuff me, shave me, apply ice cream, shortly followed by hot wax, and then hard fast sex. Whilst he was not nearly as experienced in kink as he liked to appear (he didn’t give me a safe word, he often introduced new activities we had never discussed when I was blindfolded and sometimes even gagged, with no possible way of consenting or not, and we had a sexual encounter when I was drunk and mentally unstable in which he (sober) decided to push my boundaries), he gave me an introduction, and even his failings helped contribute to my growth, as they led to an awful lot of rumination and introspection regarding bdsm and taking responsibility for my own safety, as well as leading to my doing a lot of research regarding consent and standard practices in BDSM.

    The third would probably be Dan Savage, as he was the first sex columnist I discovered, who helped shape my views on kink-friendly relationships, communication, negotiation, and who provided a portal to a whole range of sex-bloggers that educated me and provided starting points for my own thoughts on a whole range of issues, including this blog, which I have read (if not commented on) for several years now.

    What sexual activity could you happily swear off for the rest of your life?

    That’s a difficult one… there are a lot of sexual activities that I haven’t enjoyed that I changed my mind on at a later date, so even if I choose something I hate now, I don’t know that I wouldn’t come to love it in the future. I think if I had to pick one, though, I’d go with mouth-fucking/deep-throating. I adore giving head, but I absolutely hate being fucked hard in the mouth – I don’t like the loss of control, the gagging and discomfort, and I find it frustrating when I know from experience that they’d enjoy the head a lot more if they let me have some input into the situation.

    When does your libido tend to peak?

    During my period, as a rule.

    What are you ashamed of?

    The times when I haven’t felt I owned my own body, and consented through silence to things I didn’t really want to do.

    What do you regret not doing, sexually? (As in, what situation would you go back to and re-do if you could?)

    There was an incredibly hot and lovely young woman who was interested in exploring her bisexuality with me, that I was very interested in exploring with her, but she was too shy to make the first move, and I was too nervous and inexperienced with women to feel confident enough to do it myself.

    What are your hard limits when it comes to sex? From there, what’s the closest thing to a hard limit that you’ve got where there’s still a teensy bit of wiggle room?

    I won’t do electric play – I really hate electric shocks. I won’t do cutting (them or me). I wouldn’t eat shit. I guess shit-play that doesn’t involve eating would be a hard limit with a teensy bit of wiggle room – I don’t want to do it, but if I was with a partner who really got off on that I might be persuaded to try it, so long as sensible cleanliness rules were followed. It’s possible that cutting might become acceptable to me at some point in the future, under the right circumstances, but right now it’s a definite no.

    What would your perfect sexual partner be like?

    GGG, great at communication, interested in my kinks but bringing ones of his or her own to the table too, with a similar or just slightly higher sex drive to my own, switch who leans more towards dom/me.

    What book has most influenced the way you feel about sex?

    In a roundabout way, The Ethical Slut, although I haven’t read it, because it seems to have influenced most of the writers on the internet whose writing has influenced me.

    What film scene (that did not appear in a porn film) has aroused you most?

    Stealing Beauty – the scene where the protagonist loses her virginity atop a hill. I stumbled across the film as a teenager, late at night on tv, and fell in love with that scene so much that it haunted me years later to the point where I googled all I could remember of it until I found the title and could get a copy of it.

    If you were to write up a sex CV, what would your three most recent jobs be?

    (Hope I’ve understood this question right…)
    Attended a fetish club for the first time, and had a very intense hot wax scene with one of the house doms. (would have been achieved long ago, but I live several hours from the nearest fetish scene and have a low income)
    Successful negotiation with my partner leading to an improved sex life for us both
    Entered into discussion with other interested parties regarding setting up a regular fetish night in my hometown.

    What would you love to do, sexually, that you never expect you will actually experience? Why? And why not?

    I love the idea of enacting a rape fantasy with a stranger, but it will likely never happen because the logistics of ensuring it was safe are pretty difficult, plus it could easily backfire and turn out to be traumatic rather than erotic, and I don’t think it’s really worth the risk.

    If you were entitled to someone’s service for one full week, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and all that person wanted to do was please you in any way you wished, what would you have them do, sexually or otherwise?

    Tidy the house🙂 I’d have a lot of backrubs, too. I’d want to do filthy things to them in public as much as possible without getting caught (and have them do filthy things to me) – I’d love to make them come somewhere where silence was mandatory, like a public library, and command them not to make a sound. I would want them to tell me any fantasies they had other than serving me, and explore them, and use them as rewards. I’d like having them tied up, blindfolded, and exposed, whilst I watch tv or go online, so I could play with them absent-mindedly and keep them aroused for hours at my whim before letting them come. However, I have very very little experience in topping, so these are all the fantasies of someone who’s never tried doing these things – my desires would quite possibly change with some experience.

    What kind of music do you find the most likely to get you in the mood?

    NIN Closer tends to work pretty well, and music like muse or radiohead, sensual music that focusses on sounds and melodies more than words. Deep bass lines often work pretty well, especially if it’s loud enough to feel vibrating through me.

    What do you want to learn, sexually, that you haven’t had the chance to learn yet?

    I’d like to learn more about topping/dominating, I’d like to try fisting (giving or receiving), I want to try using a strap-on. There are lots more, but those are probably the top three right now.

    In a sexual situation, what act(s) would someone have to do in order to make you say “no” and immediately leave the room?

    Ignore my wishes – either pre-stated in the form of negotiation of a scene, or expressed during the situation. Bring an animal into the situation. Cut themselves.

    List three things that would feel nice on your feet.
    A very soft furry throw or pillow, a pen (I love being drawn on), golden syrup – I love the idea of immersing them into a big tub of syrup and feeling them gloop into it.

    What stereotypes, if any, are actually true about you?
    I’m a woman, and I like to submit. I’m bisexual, and have a history of promiscuity. I’m a feminist and have hairy legs.

    Where do you go when you want to feel safe?
    Home. Sometimes to my friends’ house, to play with their kid.

    What five activities are reliable sources of pleasure for you, sexual or otherwise?

    Creative pursuits (writing, taking photos), using my vibrator, eating, cuddling with my partner, sex.

  3. Q:What’s the item of clothing in your wardrobe that makes you feel sexiest?

    A:It depends on my mood. If I’m feeling very “male”, my leather chaps, codpiece and vest. If I’m feeling very female, my denim mini shirt and this sheer black top. If I’m feeling very genderqueer, some kind of combination that highlights my most “masculine” features (facial and body hair) and my most “feminine” feature (boobs).

    Q: What’s the most sensual activity you take part in that does not involve human contact or sexual pleasure?

    A: Painting bottles. The feel of the brush going up and down the curves of a glass bottle is amazingly sensual.

    Q: What three people have had the greatest influence over your sexuality? (Whether you’ve ever had sex with them, or even met them, is not the point.)

    A: My Northern lover from Eeyou Istchee because he turned me on to non-monogamy and subtle forms of spirituality and love. Catherine Millet for being sexually free. Ummm . .. have to think about the third one.

    Q: What sexual activity could you happily swear off for the rest of your life?

    A: Anything to do with feet.

    Q: When does your libido tend to peak?

    A: In the morning.

    Q: What are you ashamed of?

    A: Some of my most disturbing fantasies. I will not describe them here.

    Q: What do you regret not doing, sexually? (As in, what situation would you go back to and re-do if you could?)

    A: Nothing really. If my comfort level ever kept me from doing something, it was for a reason.

    Q: What are your hard limits when it comes to sex? From there, what’s the closest thing to a hard limit that you’ve got where there’s still a teensy bit of wiggle room?

    A: Untouchable hard limits are asphyxiation, electrical play and anything involving minors. Things that I thought were hard limits but that are softening are needle play and mummification.

    Q: What film scene (that did not appear in a porn film) has aroused you most?

    A: Well, it’s from a play that was turned into a film but I’ve only read and seen the play. It is the scene from Bent when they are making love with their words right under the nose of the Nazi guards.

    Q: If you were to write up a sex CV, what would your three most recent jobs be?

    A: Jack of all genders, fister and rimmer.

    Q: What would you love to do, sexually, that you never expect you will actually experience? Why? And why not?

    A: There are some of my rape fantasies that may never come to fruition, particularly the ones involving bio males. Reasons include the difficulty in finding a group of males that won’t succumb to mob mentality and one upmanship when they are in a group and the relative difficulty in finding bio males who are into playing with trans males.

    Q: If you were entitled to someone’s service for one full week, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and all that person wanted to do was please you in any way you wished, what would you have them do, sexually or otherwise?

    A: I would not want this and would be unable to feel entitled to this service because it’s not who I am. However, I would suggest a compromise where I could use them sexually for limited time frames within that week, in ways that would be pleasurable to both of us. Then we could spend the rest of the time that week hanging out.

    Q: What kind of music do you find the most likely to get you in the mood?

    A: No specific kind of music but I have a playlist on my computer of all kinds of sexy songs.

    Q: What do you want to learn, sexually, that you haven’t had the chance to learn yet?

    A: Cutting (giving).

    Q: In a sexual situation, what act(s) would someone have to do in order to make you say “no” and immediately leave the room?

    A: Say something incredibly disrespectful toward me or any group (ethnicity, culture, sex, gender, ability, religion, etc etc etc) because bigotry is a huge turn off. Other than that, most sex acts won’t make me leave even if they are not things I like. I would usually just say that I’m not into it but am glad to watch and talk to the person if it turns them on. The exception would be puke. I can’t handle that and would have to leave.

    Q: List three things that would feel nice on your feet.

    A: A foot rub, hot water and my work boots.

    Q: What stereotypes, if any, are actually true about you?

    A: I’m verbose, dorky and silly. I don’t know of any other stereotypes but there might be others.

    Q: Where do you go when you want to feel safe?

    A: Inside myself.

    Q: What five activities are reliable sources of pleasure for you, sexual or otherwise?

    A: Iron Maiden, reading, foot massage, tit sucking (giving and receiving), rimming (giving or receiving).

  4. Jacky, part-time mentalist: Neato! It occurred to me that people might answer here, but it wasn’t the first thing on my mind, so it’s a pleasant surprise to see what you’ve written. And very cool to read about your experiences!🙂

    SexWarrior – No particular reason. I just felt like giving the floor to the readers a bit. Also I find most quizzes and questionnaires about sex to be unbearably clichéd, so I thought it might be fun to come up with one of my own. Thanks for answering some!

  5. omg.
    Q: What film scene (that did not appear in a porn film) has aroused you most?

    the exchange between jennifer connelly and david bowie at the end of labyrinth.

    Jareth: Sarah, beware. I have been generous, up until now. But I can be cruel.
    Sarah: (disbelieving) Generous? What have you done that’s generous?
    Jareth: Everything! Everything that you wanted, I have done! You asked that the baby be taken – I took him. You cowered before me – I was frightening. I have reordered time, I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you. I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn’t that generous?
    Sarah: (dreamily) Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered… I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city… For my will is as strong as yours… and my kingdom-
    Jareth: Stop! Wait. Look, Sarah, look what I’m offering you. (he holds out the crystal) Your dreams!
    Sarah: (undeterred) And my kingdom as great…
    Jareth: I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want.
    Sarah: My kingdom as great… … damn… I can never remember that line.
    Jareth: Just fear me – love me – do as I say, and I will be your slave!

    i was 12 when i saw that movie, which explains a lot concerning my david bowie fetish and, well, being a sub. i find it sooooo romantic.

    kitty

  6. What’s the item of clothing in your wardrobe that makes you feel sexiest?
    – Black lacy bustier. I definitely don’t get to wear it often enough!

    What’s the most sensual activity you take part in that does not involve human contact or sexual pleasure?
    – I second the eating. Especially something chocolatey.

    What three people have had the greatest influence over your sexuality? (Whether you’ve ever had sex with them, or even met them, is not the point.)
    – This is going to sound creepy, but my mother and great aunt have had a big influence on my confidence when it comes to talking about and engaging in sex. Also, the first girl I had sex with.

    What sexual activity could you happily swear off for the rest of your life?
    – Anything to do with my bum (but I’m okay with other peoples’ bums).

    What do you regret not doing, sexually? (As in, what situation would you go back to and re-do if you could?)
    – I wasn’t nearly as sexually assertive at 16 as I was at 18, and I wish I had been. I think I was ready to have sex then, but I didn’t know how to verbalize/show that. Really, any of the relationships I was in at that time.

    What book has most influenced the way you feel about sex?
    – I automatically want to say “Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit”, even though I don’t remember it very well, so it certainly had a lasting effect on me.

    What do you want to learn, sexually, that you haven’t had the chance to learn yet?
    – How to use a strap-on better.

    What five activities are reliable sources of pleasure for you, sexual or otherwise?
    – Making pasta
    – Getting a manicure
    – Swimming
    – Receiving oral sex
    – Dancing

  7. Q: What’s the item of clothing in your wardrobe that makes you feel sexiest?
    A: I really like thigh high stockings with a garter belt. It makes me feel sexy to wear it knowing no-one else can see it- my own little secret. With a short dress, even better.

    Q: What’s the most sensual activity you take part in that does not involve human contact or sexual pleasure?
    A: Eating. I really do love food. I’m not really that into sweets or chocolate but I love food with different spices, unique tastes and texture. I love foreign and international food. It literally brings me pleasure. Tastegasms?

    Q: What sexual activity could you happily swear off for the rest of your life?
    A: Anal. Not a fan.

    Q: When does your libido tend to peak?
    A: Unfortunately during my period I personally don’t mind it, but not all guys are into it.

    Q: What would your perfect sexual partner be like?
    A: Someone who matches my libido and my sexual interests, and someone who actually gives a shit and want to genuinely please, rather than impress. I’m really into fast, spontaneous public sex. A rush job. I love the thought of sneaking into a one-person bathroom during a break between classes and being bent over the sink. Or in an alleyway off of a busy street when anyone could walk by and look sideways and see us. Size or experience of the guy does not impress or mean much to me in the least.

    Q: What do you regret not doing, sexually? (As in, what situation would you go back to and re-do if you could?)
    A: Nothing exciting and pretty innocent, but I wish I had kissed someone when I had the chance. I wasn’t even thinking about anything sexual at the time- I just wanted to kiss him.

    Q: What are your hard limits when it comes to sex? From there, what’s the closest thing to a hard limit that you’ve got where there’s still a teensy bit of wiggle room?
    A: Hard limits: Erotic asphyxiation, incest, minors. Anything with feces. Bestiality. There might be a tiny (VERY TINY) wiggle room with bestiality, but everything else I`m pretty much set against.

    Q: If you were entitled to someone’s service for one full week, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and all that person wanted to do was please you in any way you wished, what would you have them do, sexually or otherwise?
    A: Oh god. I would get them to cook for me. And give oral sex. That`s all I need.

    Q: List three things that would feel nice on your feet.
    A: Ball massager, sand, hot water

    Q: What stereotypes, if any, are actually true about you?
    A: I`m Asian and I`m a nerd. Although I guess not in the stereotypical areas like math or physics or chess… I just really like to learn and have quirky interests.

    Q: What five activities are reliable sources of pleasure for you, sexual or otherwise?
    A: oral sex. I would jump over loops, clean the toilet, or even cook to get oral. Back and foot massages are always good too- and eating good food, being creative!! and travelling.

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