on power, heartbreak and the mainstreaming of (only some) kink

This week, Autostraddle published an essay by a self-identified lesbian dominant discussing her recent break-up with her submissive. It caused a bit of a stir in the comments section; the editor shut down comment; then a reader noticed the article had linked out to one of my reading lists and contacted me in case I … More on power, heartbreak and the mainstreaming of (only some) kink

who’s queer? whose queer? on claims, identities and kink (among other things) at pride – part 2

I’m seeing a lot of talk right now on the interwebs about who belongs at Pride. And most of it seems to be trying to address at least two separate questions, but mushed together. I’m going to try and disentangle them here a bit. The first question is: Who gets to claim they’re queer? I … More who’s queer? whose queer? on claims, identities and kink (among other things) at pride – part 2

who’s queer? whose queer? on claims, identities and kink (among other things) at pride – part 1

I’m seeing a lot of talk right now on the interwebs about who belongs at Pride. And most of it seems to be trying to address at least two separate questions, but mushed together. I’m going to try and disentangle them here a bit. The first question is: Who gets to claim they’re queer? This … More who’s queer? whose queer? on claims, identities and kink (among other things) at pride – part 1

we carry each other

I just wanna tell a little story about a thing that happened during today’s HotDocs screening of the documentary Killing Patient Zero at Hart House. It’s not about the film exactly, except that it kind of is. (The film is a devastating doc that thoroughly debunks the myth about Gaetan Dugas, supposed original spreader of … More we carry each other

jealousy is to possessiveness as erotica is to porn?

In response to this Twitter thread from Melissa A. Fabello, I have some thoughts on jealousy vs possessiveness to share. Attache ta tuque, as they say! I appreciate how the writer normalizes jealousy. I agree that jealousy truly is not a polyamory thing, it’s a human thing, and it’s at least as common, if not … More jealousy is to possessiveness as erotica is to porn?