on ecstasy

Not too long ago, I wrote an instalment of my “Ask the Sex Geek” column for In Toronto magazine in response to a reader question about trying to find resources on spiritual approaches to sexuality, such as Tantra, that don’t rely on a classic gender binary. Such resources are remarkably hard to find, and as … More on ecstasy

privilege, guilt and the global politics of the sexually different

The following is a comment that was just left following my post “‘It’s Not About Sex’ and Other Lies.” It’s incredibly thought-provoking and so I wrote a long response to it, and then I realized that really this should be a post in and of itself. So, for starters, here’s Marissa’s comment. *** Thanks for … More privilege, guilt and the global politics of the sexually different

night owls unite!

A friend of mine just posted this little gem on Facebook: Dawn, n. The time when men of good reason go to bed. Certain old men prefer to rise at about that time, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach, and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride … More night owls unite!

a disturbing equation, or, musings on masculinity

Tonight, during his workshop at Venus Envy Ottawa entitled “FTM Sexuality,” Patrick Califia said something that gave me a new insight: “Masculinity is constructed as this thing you can never have. It’s all about striving, competition. If you can lift 50 pounds, you’re supposed to keep working until you can lift 500 pounds. (…) That … More a disturbing equation, or, musings on masculinity

five-minute erotica

Apparently, all I need is a kick in the ass. If I am going to produce erotic fiction, that is. I went to an erotic writing workshop led by Rachel Kramer Bussel tonight at Come As You Are. She’s a prolific erotica editor and writer, and I haven’t stoked the creative fires in quite some … More five-minute erotica