Today I want to tackle (read: tear apart) a common kink misconception I’ve been hearing off and on for the better part of twenty years. That is: in BDSM, the power is actually in the hands of the bottom or submissive. This statement is profoundly weird. I think people started saying it in order to … More against the false flip: on mutuality in kink
Ten years ago, I wrote about the concept of earned leather. I just re-read my post and felt a wave of… nostalgia? A lot has happened in that decade, and to revisit my perspectives from 2007 feels a bit like having tea with an old friend I haven’t seen in a long time. My thoughts … More earning my leathers, ten years later
Sex: An Erotic Journal for Sexual Inspiration and Exploration by Margaret Hurst and Jordan LaRousse This little book presents scraps of writing intended to inspire thought, reflection and inspiration, along with plenty of blank space to write and draw things. In lieu of a full review, I will simply quote here the first full paragraph … More book review twofer: sexual inspiration! also cunnilingus!
The question of whether or not to include trans women in women’s sexuality-based events is old and tiresome, but it still comes up with some regularity. I recently responded to a discussion on this topic and I realized that it might be useful to post my thoughts here, as I don’t know that I’ve ever … More if trans women aren’t welcome, neither am I
Polyamory is getting a lot of airtime in the media these days. It’s quite remarkable, really, and it represents a major shift over the last five to ten years. The problem—and it’s hardly surprising—is that the form of poly that’s getting by far the most airtime is the one that’s as similar to traditional monogamy … More the problem with polynormativity
This post is a slight departure from my usual, because I was asked to participate in a blog hop—essentially, a sort of blog-to-blog self-interview chain letter (in a good way) linking writers to each other so you can bop along and discover new work. The person who asked me to take part is Clarisse Thorn, … More blog hop! also, i’m writing a book.
You’d think that given that kinky people are universally more enlightened about sexuality than the general population, nobody would have to explain this one. But from recent discussions I’ve seen go by online, it appears that we can throw that little “superior enlightenment” theory out the window (no big surprise there), and that a post … More why rape jokes aren’t funny, even if you’re kinky